Thursday, 26 January 2012

Bibleman Defeating the Shadow of Doubt

Hi I'm Bersercules the Berserk Herc and today is the second instalment of my reviews on the Bibleman show! Today's episode: Defeating the Shadow of Doubt... I doubt this will be good!... and it gives away the end! Now we know he defeats the Shadow of Doubt... that's just lame on top of lame!

 

Me and this tape...

For this episode the show has become a bit more dark and dynamic, more like a movie then a kids TV show... and does it work? Does the show look cooler and more sleek?



Depends, if you think a man in purple and yellow looks less or more goofy in a more nitty gritty world!


The show starts off in a community centre as people are about to listen to kids singing! Oh crap! Oh no wait! Before were subjected to too much singing and dancing we see into the basement of the community centre where the villain Shadow of Doubt has make his hide out... wow nothing says evil headquarters like a rec centre basement!



We then see that the Shadow of Doubt has a sidekick named Ludicrous and... um... a big bulging nut sack.


Look at that thing! What the ball sack!

A villain in tight blue spandex? Showing off his ball-bulge! What the frick! Whats the doubt hes suppose to cast? Is he suppose to be make kids doubt there sexuality?!

Villain in blue tights... true evil.

We then meet up in the Biblebase as Bibleman's secret identity of Miles Peterson works along side his sidekick Coats.


Wait! What? Bibleman has a sidekick and his name is Coats?! Coats? What kind of name is Coats? That's frickin' stupid! Why would you name your kid Coats? (and if Coats is his hero name then that's just worse!)


So how does a man in army attire relate to the whole bible theme of this show? Is he in Gods army? Does God have a fully decked out military? Does heaven have weapons of mass destruction?

So as our Biblical Duo works in their biblebase they get a message from there computer UNICE (Universal Networking Intelligence Computing Entity) and go to check on it...


They receive a video message from a pastor (Wow the church really wastes money! Why'd he need to use a video message device? He could have just used the phone!) who tells them some of his church congregation has been acting strange and hes mostly concerned with a little girl who's parents have been struggling with arguing.

Sad girl? Bibleman to the rescue!

(also the pastor mentions in his video message that they've been finding odd little black boxes around everywhere... and if it has nothing to do with this episodes villain that would be a real shock!)

And is arguing one of the Bibleman villains too? or does Bibleman not concern himself with adults arguing? Bibleman does tend to favour helping small kids... young preteen girls to be exact...


Bibleman talks to the girl (well actually he just quotes the bible at her) and the girl seems to want more depth of discussion. But thinking the girl might need counselling with her parents is beyond the notice of Bibleman as he continues to quote the bible at her. But the girl doubts things will just get better with just talking and prayer. (Huh, what's she think she can do? Actually actively do something? Dumb little girl! Your life is predetermined and you can't do things for yourself! Just lie back and think of the bible!)

The girl then tells Bibleman that her doubtful feelings hit fruition when she found and opened a little black box in the basement. Bibleman looks at the box and decides to investigate the basement. But before he can get to the basement he is approached by the pastor and asked if there's any way he can help the little girl, Bibleman tells him to pray for her... cause calling a counsellor is just a dumb idea! Quote the bible at her and think about her to yourself... that's how things get done!... Heck that's how I wrote this review!

So Bibleman goes into the basement and looks around, he then finds a little black box and opens it... seriously? The girl said her doubt happened after she opened the box! How does he not realise the box will make him doubt things? What is he an idiot? Did he open up some box earlier that made him dumb as a door nail? Geepers!

So Bibleman is then effected with the boxes doubt power?/smoke?/electricity?/specialeffect?/thingamabob? and then the villain reappears! and we can see his bulge again...




Why God why?! I know Bibleman is about confronting evil, but the evil of his bulge is too much! This is a kids show is it not? Why must kids be subjected to the crotch! Why God why!?

So the two men then break into battle (just hope the villains tights don't break) and fight each other with their lightsabers.

Yeah I'm gonna censer the crotch right now its kind of annoying!

With all the changes from the earlier episode its good they kept these sword battles...
As they fight when ever the Shadow of Doubt says "Doubt" Bibleman feels doubt and is weakened! Eventually when Bibleman is very weak (from hearing the word doubt a lot) the Shadow of Doubt makes his escape leaving Bibleman to wonder why he feels the way he does and whats going on...

Yeah he still doesn't realise the little black box filled him with doubt... How is such a simple thing beyond his grasp? How is he a champion on the side of good and this clueless? Does he not exercise his brain?!

And better yet, why did the Shadow of Doubt not finish him off when he had the chance!?!


So Bibleman heads over to his secret base and trys to analyze what happened to him.


Using computers, microscopes, books, and test tubes...


YOU DORK! YOU FELT DOUBT! HOW IS IT THAT HARD TO FIGURE OUT?! DOUBT!!

Will Bibleman ever figure out the Shadow of Doubt made him feel doubt? Will Bibleman ever clue in? Find out tomorrow! Same Berserk Time! Same Berserk Blog!
 

42 comments:

  1. People at work probably think I'm crazy because I'm giggling like a little school girl in my cubicle.

    When Bibleman quotes bible verses during serious conversations with little girls, it kind of reminds me of my friends. They will shout out and repeat extraneous information when they are losing an argument and don't know what to say, completely steering clear of the present issue on hand.

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  2. science in the bible movie, thats blashpemy

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  3. That's very interesting!

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  4. Bible Man is godly! (Pun intendened). Of course he's going to figure out that his doubt is artificial!!!

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  5. I'm with Chiz, I'm laughing like a moron at this right now and feel so guilty for doing so. I mean you're right buddy, what kind of a name is COATS? It's ridiculous. I love how he has a secret base and performs science to try to work out what's going on, surely science contradicts Christianity? I have no idea but this certainly is a ridiculous episode.

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  6. LOL maybe the bulge is his secret weapon. He gets you to look at that well he does his doubt-y thingamabob to you. This has got to be one of the most horribly lame shows ever. A newborn has more brain cells.

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  7. Okay that is just about the greatest most terrible thing I have never heard about. This kind of stuff is right up my alley. It so deserves the mocking you give it. Reminds me of those freakin' Bible Archie comics that tricked you into reading them. Summer bible camp with Bible comic books? My hypocricy only goes so far.

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  8. Bibleman and science,sounds like scary movie 5,disaster movie 2

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  9. He fights the "Shadow of Doubt"? What kind of brainwashing program is this?

    Also, the bulge censoring is much appreciated haha.

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  10. The Axis of evil. God, Science and the Military. And that bulge. I think they were aiming for the moms with this one! (or maybe the dads). You know what's really scary? I want to know if there was something in that box. What substance created that doubt? I'm doomed and it's all your fault Bersercules!

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  11. Other than the disturbing as Hell bulge I'm wondering why he was using prayer to solve the girls problems, but was using science to solve his own. Maybe it's a side effect of him now doubting God?

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  12. I think you deserve a medal of honor for not only watching this, but living to tell the tale. I'm about to passout from boredom and I didn't even watch the show.

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  13. @Everyone Thanks for all your great comments!

    @Pat Hatt If it is his secret weapon its one HELL of an evil weapon! It gave me night mares just thinking about it...

    @Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness You remember those comics too? I have one or two of them but almost no one I know remebers them! Archie with a Christian twist is odder then the time Archie appeared with the Punisher!

    @Anne In the box was weird smoke/electrisity/something or other that was green and zapped him... the shows kinda unclear about it. All evil is my fault...

    @Mark Good point but he actually always uses science to solve his problems, he just hates to use science and logic to solve personal problems.

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  14. My favorite villain yet. :) Doubt is the enemy! Questioning is bad!

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  15. Oh! I just figured it out! Shadow of Doubt's huge bulge is what creates doubt in men! I for one would doubt myself upon encountering that monsterous mound.

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  16. The Great Buddha teaches us that the Shadow of Doubt must verily stuff.
    Of that, there can be no doubt.
    Ohhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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  17. What a very strange TV programme, I'm very glad I've never seen it!!!

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  18. the bulge is the best part of it...

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  19. haha so many superheros in tights in the same post as the bible, this has got to be good! :D i enjoyed

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  20. that bulge is a little inappropriate for a Christian kids program

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  21. Shadow of Doubt's secret power is making dudes doubt their sexuality and penis size.

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  22. I think things like the 'bulge' are inserted to catch those who look there and make them feel guilty for thinking 'bad' thoughts.

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  23. HAha this reminds me of a cracked article or something. Good shit.

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  24. Dude, I actually laughed OUT LOUD at the "and we can see his bulge again" comment.

    Jesus, haven't seen this much bulge since Lazytown. It should be, seriously now, renamed "Bibleman: Taking On The Bulge."

    Seriously, might as well rename the dude Cock Knocker.

    And the crotch-sensoring. That shit straight got me laughin', man.

    Also, did we EVER figure out what's with the lightsabers? Are they a metaphor?

    So many questions, so many oh-so-stupid questions...

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  25. @Everyone Thanks for commenting!

    @That Bastard From Bellingham Glad you enjoyed the write up!

    Oh god! Don't remind me of Lazytown! Aargg!

    You're right though! this has as much bulge as that! (but that was made worse by the fact it was always a few feet away from some little girls face!)

    If the lightsabers are a metaphor they don't say, I just think their "extentions" of their ball sacks!

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  26. Love the poster in the
    back. Mystery Science
    Theater. Love that
    show. So funny.

    Hope you have a
    great weekend.

    Cheers & Boogie Boogie.

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  27. Does bibleman club people over the head with old heavy books?

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  28. i cant get that smile of my face when im reading this :D

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  29. Oh man, I watched this years ago with friends. I still can't believe it actually exists.

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  30. Is it wrong to want to go to a fancy dress party as Bibleman?

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  31. I don't think I've ever rooted for a villain more than in this series. Honestly.

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  32. You're killing me with these, blue ball sacks is playing in my head now.....

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  33. i think Bibleman already concluded what happened to him, he's just doubting himself because he knows that he got infected by the doubt disease and so doubts himself even more.

    Also, thank you for censoring that bulge. For some reason, that bulge has the power to be noticed easily.

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  34. "Just lie back and think of the Bible." HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    And oh god, that bulge.... So fibbing and doubting are sinful, but exposing kids to that is totally fine. Makes perfect sense.

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