Wednesday 5 September 2012

Titano the Super-Ape



Hello everyone! Bersercules here! and ready to start the Superman comics from the 60s reviews! And boy do I start it! This first one has to be one of my favourite reviews I've ever done! Sure its egotistical to talk about liking my own reviews, but what can I say? I'm egotistical!! I think this ones up there with other such reviews as Thundarr the Barbarian, Bibleman the Six Lies of the Fibbler, the Submariner, and the Comic Book Ads from the 1940s!! So I hope you all enjoy!



44 comments:

  1. I'm with you on the review Bersecules, this is incredible man, I love your way of reviewing comic books, great post dude.

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  2. Love how you worked a dick joke in there. And you've included your trade-mark WTF! They weren't ready to think about causality in those days. You could time travel without consequences in the 60's. Now a days, it's different and that really sucks.

    Okay you said Jeepers, I gotta make fun of that. It's not the 50's you eejit!!

    Love that t-shirt your future self is wearing and kudos to you for killing your future self. There will be no consequences for that action!!

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    1. I think you can still time travel with out consiquenses, its just harder to find a time machine!

      I say Geepers! all the time! (I just spell it differently!) It may not be the fifties, but the word is still fun to say!!

      I didn't kill myself in the future, my past self killed my present self... wait, what?! How am I alive? huh, I must be dead.

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  3. I like it when a comic, a piece of fiction, calls another piece of fiction fiction. The intros, both yours and the apes, were cool. But yours was missing "The Beserc Herc." If you add that to it, you should consider using it as a proper intro. If talking to yourself is the first sign of madness, I want to know what the second one is. I want to know if I'm progressing. I'm not sure I've ever heard of an animal coming back from space... I was wondering about your origins. And penis. It's odd how you have something that makes actual sense like lead blocking radiation, but then something that makes no fucking sense like throwing someone in to the past. So Superman has a computer that tells him when something is happening? I thought he used his super hearing to hear everything (kinda like God) and could hear people cry for help, or hear alarms and such and respond to them. If I remember rightly didn't you actually do that in a review, where you shot yourself from 2012? Are you having continuity?! FUCK. That's more than most anything these days. Man 60's cartoons and comics really put the deus in "deus ex machina". Infinite powers, random lead suits. You know if he has super wits, he probably has super retardation as well. He is super in every way. Even retardation. He doesn't super make breakfast, he makes super breakfast. Yeah that's a shitty solution to the mystery. You aren't developing safe hate issues are you?

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    1. I like that too!

      I forgot to say "The Berserk Herc" but I made a new intro that will go infront of all my new reviews and in that I do say "The Berserk Herc". So problem solved!!

      The second sign of madness is listening to yourself, the third sign is doing funny dances. I think the fourth is understanding crazy as if its normal.

      About animals coming back from space- I checked into it! The six monkeys I read about: One died in orbit, one from G force returning, one lost at sea, one died of heat exposer waiting in the dessert to be picked up, two returned saftely then one died two days later from something (I forget, but this is the monkey whos body is stuffed and mounted in the Smithsonian.) and the other one lived for 25 years in a zoo.

      I think Superman does use that too, but while in his Arctic Fortress of Solitude he's too far aways too hear, and maybe a little to distracted!!

      That is the ACTUAL scene, pulled right out of my second review!!

      Oh he's Super-Retarded alright! Maybe he Super makes Super-Breakfast!? I hope he at least Super wipes his Super-butt!!

      What are safe hate issues?

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    2. I'm glad one of the monkeys made it back safe and sound. I bet he had pick of the women. Self hate issues are just where you hate yourself and put yourself down and you mentioned that you keep insulting yourself lately.

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    3. The surviving monkey, if I remember correctly, was a female!!

      The comment of me insulting myself lately is cause I keep doing jokes where I say "narrating what someones doing is lame/sucks!" and other variations on that in my reviews, so I just thought I'd add a twist to it when I did it again.

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  4. Barbarian one sounds interesting

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  5. Dude 21 minutes! But you know, you make it slide through. I'm surprised even, guess that's what happens when you're doing something you love eh?

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    1. I was shocked too! But there is just so much material there! Plus, yeah, when you like it you pay more attention to it, and thats how I get more ideas for jokes!

      Its always best to do what you love! I recomend it to everyone but people who love killing!

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  6. Do a Batman comic next, preferably where there's extreme homoerotic tensions between Batman and Robin.

    Because it doesn't matter how good your "super wits" are, you're still going to do stupid things by stupid writers. Batman can have "Bat wits" I guess.

    (Also, no giant gorilla dong was ever seen. I guess radiation doesn't make everything bigger).

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    1. I wont be doing a Batman comic, but he does appear in a few of the up coming Superman reviews!

      Yeah I guess in the end, the only thing Superman really needs is Super-Writers!!

      You're right about that! Radiation must be like steroids to apes!

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  7. Ok, my first point, or comment... I hope the super R on your super shirt doesn't peel off when you take it to the super laundromat. Not to play armchair psychologist here, but being you are a super hero of sorts yourself (Super Reviewer), are you sure some of your criticism of Superman doesn't emanate from a subliminal jealousy of his many amazing super powers?? Just something to make you say, "Hmmmm." But to be serious for a moment, I do think you are being a little hard on 1960's comic book Superman. I often sit around watching prehistoric alien videos instead of saving lives as well. It's just how I roll. (Didn't I say I was going to be serious? Oh well...f*ckthat!) I really don't know where to start here. The King Kong rip-off...Superman's so called "super wits"... Ugg, I think I will just save the rest of my thoughts for when I comment on the youtube...

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    1. I peel the R off and stick it to the side of one of my shelfs, and I Super-Wash My Own Clothes! I'm totally jealous of Supermans powers! Course if I had them, I'd Super-Atually Do Things That Are Helpful! And whould only watch anchient TV on holidays or when I go back in time one day so I can watch TV all day while my yesterday self saves the world then go back to the moment I left and go back to Super-Helping!... yes I thought this all out! I'm a Super-Nerd!! I love being Super-Hard on comics from any era! I love deconstructing things! I find it fun, entertaining, and its amusing/silly what I can come up with! There like props I use to make funny comments! I'd like to be a stand up commedian, but talking about life, love and taxes, just seems lame and boring!! I'd rather talk about Giant Apes that shoot laser beams from their eyes, and Superman's Super Wits!!

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    2. I know how you feel, Bersercules. When I'm at work, or whereever I am , for example, I feel like a lot of the time, there is no one to relate to. Everyone wants to talk about love, life, and taxes,...but I wanna talk about Boxxy Wayne, Leopold "Butters" Stoch, and Giant Apes that shoot lazers out of their eyes.

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    3. That would make great stand up material! I'd like to hear a comedian go on about that kind of stuff!

      "Boxxy and Butters walk in to a bar and Boxxy says to Butters 'Hey look, a giant ape!'"

      Okay, not a funny joke, but I'm sure theres a joke there somewhere!

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  8. nice review dude look interesting for me

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  9. What a ridiculous comic. Superman fighting a giant ape (sorry, super ape). I love it. Great review. Wasn't sure if you could be able to review a comic this well, but you nailed it.

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    1. Thanks, glad you enjoyed the review! (In fact I think its easyier to review a comic then a TV show or movie!!)

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  10. "More boring than my great Aunt Maribelle." HA! This review has a special place in my heart because I have a set of Superman magnets and my favorite is the one made out of the cover of this very issue. Now I know the "story". And all I can do is echo your famous catchphrase, "What the fuck?"

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    1. Awesome! I wish I had magnets like that! I guess you'll never see that magnet in the same light!

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  11. LOL well now superman found a foe more boring than he is. I mean the dickless ape has to have so many issues that he just sits around thinking "what the fuck" all the time haha But then naked animals never seem to have a crack.

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    1. You think thats a boring foe?! It gets boringer!

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  12. I wonder if Mario knocked DK in the past

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  13. Your wording pertaining to the coconuts confused me so I tried to call the number you provided but my call wouldn't go through. Are you sure that is the correct number?

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    1. Yes, the number only works if you try calling it for 8 hours straight. Let me know if that doesn't work.

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  14. You mean the only thing holding me back from being a massive dude with lazer beam eyes is a quick visit to Chernobyl?

    Also, I'm totally going to start talking and narrating to myself whe I'm doing research. When people ask why, I'll tell them it's because I'm Superman, therefore leading to even more questions challanging my sanity.

    Hilarious review per usual! I loved your version of an intro!

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    1. Yep, a trip to Chernobyl or a dip in a pool of radiation and you'll be blasting lasers from your eyes daily! I'm surprized more people don't do it!

      Don't tell them your Superman, tell them your Clark Kent! and when they jokingly say "are you Superman too?" act all nervous and ask them why they'd think that, then leave come back dressed as Superman and act like you just bumped into Clark on your way in! They'll never know!!

      Glad you like the review!

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    2. That is the greatest idea I've heard in my entire life.

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  15. Looks like I'm in for another night of insomnia wondering what the other powers are aside from Super Wit...Super Breath...Super Penis...Super Luck...aaahh, it never ends!!

    I love the "I survived 2012" t-shirt - it had me laughing hysterically.

    But the best line: "I got a ho in a cage" I'm still laughing!!

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    1. Glad you enjoyed the review!

      As for the powers, just think of anything you can do and ad the word Super in front of it! Super blog, Super buy groceries, Super type, ect!

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  16. I don't know, my great aunt Maribelle is pretty boring, you're setting the bar very high there!

    Great review, as always!

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    1. I can out bore anyone anywhere! I'm the master! Just read my blog and you'll see!

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  17. Wow you are a great collector and a hellova reviewer.. Rare Tv series now rare comics.. What's next? Female vintage undies?

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    1. Hmmm good idea! I'll have to look into vintage undies!

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    2. Try and get a good feel for them!

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