Thundarr the Barbarian Part Two!

Here is the conclusion of the Thundarr the Barbarian review! And here is a picture that sums up the show for those of you who didn't read the first half.

So having defeated the rat men they continue on to Manhattan-er I mean Manhat! Making their way into the city they head into the subway and the woman of the group tells them about things she had read about the city. Going as far as telling Thundarr about a movie poster!

                                 (remember when places kept hanging up Jaws posters in the nineties?)

Continuing on Ookla the Mok (the big hairy guy) falls on the subway track. Cause since they're in a place they don't understand he must obviously not understand the concept of not walking off ledges.

As they wander through the train tunnel the woman is captured by an evil wizard who threatens to kill her if the others don't give him the black ball. They refuse and the wizard freezes them, but Thundarr is immune to it and not frozen, realizing the black ball makes him immune he turns down the Wizards demand and the wizard leaves. So he's okay with her being killed? Or does he know the wizards full of it? and why'd the wizard blast Thundarr if he new he would be immune? All it did was make him aware of the power he had? They're both idiots!

So now with the girl gone they give up there search of the tunnels and go back to the streets. Why? She was taken down a tunnel when kidnapped! Go down that tunnel! Why are you going back up topside?

Oh I know why! So you can go onto the street and be attacked by the wizards knights in a helicopter! (no seriously that's the only reason they have for leaving the tunnels and yes they're attacked by knights in helicopters!)

They too have lasers!

Which seems like a good idea! Give knights lasers! But as you see in the battle its not a good idea!

They just don't understand how to use projectile weapons favoring getting close to there opponents!

If you're gonna shoot at someone don't run up to point blank range and then fire!

Especially if your still gonna miss!

Thundarr then realizes that the knights are machines! Good cause if they were people I'd have been ashamed!

Hey this knight looks like hes gonna throw his laser at the hairy guy! (Stupid robot, fighting is for humans!)

They then defeat the knights and take their helicopter and head into the sky!

And as they leave we see that they were watched by the inhabitants of the city who did not know if they were friend or foe. The leader of the people is a man with a large brown beard and a lamp shade on his head.

Thundarr makes his way to the wizards base and leaves Ookla the Mok (who can't talk) to fly the helicopter as he jumps on to the wizards penthouse tower and sneaks in to save his friend! Why'd he leave him to fly it alone? This can't be good!

Thundarr fights off the villain! Well actually the girl uses magic to blind the evil wizard as Thundarr cuts the bars on the cage and they make there escape as the wizard stands around complaining of being blinded.

They make their way to a window to get to the helicopter but Ookla the Mok can't fly it over to them and instead he just smashes the control panels and screams then kicks the control panel out the nose of the helicopter causing it to crash.

I knew it was a bad idea to let him fly the helicopter!

So with no helicopter to get on to they jump out the window and land on there horses.

How'd their horses get there? Magic!

They make it back to Manhat and meet up with the inhabitants of the city and the old guy from the beginning. The wizard then makes his appearance and makes the Statue of Liberty come to life and attack our heroes!

The Statue of Liberty uses her torch as a flamethrower and blasts at the heroes! I never thought I'd say that!

The wizard asks one more time for the black ball and Thundarr gets an idea and throws it at the Statue of Liberty and in so doing destroys the black ball and the life of the statue! And with that the wizard leaves in anger.... and what if that hadn't worked? Then the wizard would have had the black ball and the statue would still be a threat! But being a kids show things always work out in the end.

And that concludes my write up on this show. My thoughts on it? Weird. Yup, that's it just: Weird.

Thunder the Barba- oops I mean ThunDARR the Barbarian

The show is about Thundarr the Barbarian who is a Conan-esk warrior who fights monsters and wizards in a world of swords and sorcery! That takes place in the year 3994.

You see back in 1994 a run away planet flew between the earth and the moon causing cosmic destruction! And our civilization is cast into ruin! (Remember when that happened? It was just after Kurt Cobain's death! We've been living in a post apocalyptic society ever since!)

And now two thousand years later the world is a savage place with sorcery! (How'd magic show up? We loose technology and magic appears? That's odd!)

So Thundarr with his magical "Sun" sword and his companions a giant beast called Ookla the Mok (who can't talk and communicates only in grunts) and a sexy woman named Ariel take it upon themselves to fight evil wizards and help people.

                                        That's right Ariel pose sexy to fulfill your role as eye candy!

The first episode starts as the trio are riding there horses through a forest, riding around crashed airplanes and jumping over abandoned cars.

So for 2000 years those things have just sat their? No one dismantled them for parts or made them into homes? Seriously?

So as they travel though the forest/garbage dump they hear the cries of a man in danger and go to help him and in so doing they save the old man from some rat people. Yeah apparently there are rat people in the future, apparently rats only need 2000 years of Earth in destruction to evolve into humanoids!

So having fought of the rat people the trio is told of the old mans mission to bring a black ball that has magical properties to some wizards who live in the city of Manhat...(tan). The trio then decides to do his quest for him and head off the the city of Manhat (tan)!

They end up at a cliff looking out over some swampland leading to the city and to get off the cliff the one lady uses her magic to make a bridge across the swamp appear- and how do we as a people loose are technological advancements and then gain magic?

Seriously? That's pretty odd!

I wonder if we throw out our computers and never used the phone or drive a car if we'd become magical? Someone out there please try this and tell me telepathically if it works!

So as they start to cross the magical plot convenient bridge they are attacked by rat people on motorcycles. No seriously, here's a picture of it.

They're also shooting lasers.

Lasers that blast out of there wooden sticks..... weird.

So humans devolved into using swords and magic and rats evolved into using science? Huh!

So a human with a magical sword and in his underwear fights the rat men on motor bikes who shoot lasers out of their wooden sticks... now I've seen everything. Heck I've seen more than everything! I've seen the future!

To be continued! The episode is not done yet (infact this is just the beginning!) I'll post the rest tommorrow! And remember if you enjoyed reading this post there's always my old posts on Superhuman Samuria Syber-Squad, Battletoads and Dino Riders to read! (they are in the August posts to the right of this post)

Recess

It's a show about kids in school during recess.

Yup, the show centers around kids playing at recess. Just recess. They're never at home or in class just at recess.

Lame.

Sure they have some great episodes with fun things happening but the fact they're only seen at recess limits the stories.

It would be like writing a blog and only talking about one thing, like movies or games or TV... oh wait.

Forget that last line.

The show is good but its limitations can be irritating.

Then I heard about a show called The Weekenders about kids during the weekend and well I never watched it!

The Honeymooners

The show is about a fat guy and his wife and their two friends.

Sounds lame. But it's not.

What makes this show special?

It's main character was the inspiration for Fred Flintstone.

Yes and no, yes it inspired the character Fred Flintstone but that's not why the show is famous.

Cause its funny?

Yes and no again, sure its funny (my favorite is when he eats cat food thinking its a fancy dinner and then he tries to sell it as a new type of dinner meal) but that's not why it's a well known show.

No what makes this show so well known and interesting is the one line often said by the husband to the wife.

That line?

"One of these days... POW! Right in the kisser! One of these days Alice, straight to the moon!"

Now for you young folks who don't understand olden day slang, I'll translate.

"One day, POW! I'm gonna punch you right in the face woman, one of these days Alice I'm gonna punch you so god damn hard you'll fly to the moon!"

Now that seems like a nice healthy relationship!

Who doesn't wanna watch a show about a guy who threatens his wife with physical violence?!

Jer-ry Jer-ry!

Today I'm here talking about a show so crazy I lose faith in humanity when ever I think about it! That show?

The Jerry Springer Show!

It's a talk show where people go on stage and discuss topics with others in front of a studio audience and they always end up arguing and fist fighting with each other while Jerry Springer watches.
　
The talk show you watch when you wanna see topics such as adultery, zoophilia, divorce, homophobia, incest, infidelity, pedophilia, pornography, prostitution, racism, strange fetishes, dwarfism and transvestism.

And no I don't watch the show enough to have seen episodes about each topic to know to write about them, I got the list off Wikipedia!

The episodes I've seen involve strippers stripping, people telling their significant other they're cheating and one where they set up a dinner table where they had a family sit and eat a thanks giving dinner that devolved into a food fight!

Some say its legit.

Some say its faked.

I say if you put a table full of food in front of people who hate each other on a stage you want them to throw the food.

The Fresh Prince of Bel Air

Now this is a blog all about how
Someguy named Will Smith's life got flipped and turned upside down
So I'm taking a minute, please stay right here
And I'll telling you how he became the prince of a town called Bel Air

In west Philadelphia; Will Smith was born and raised
On the playground is where he spent most of his days
Chillin' out, maxing (what ever that is), relaxing all cool
Shooting some basketball's outside of the school building

When a couple of guys who where up to no good
Started to harass Will Smith in his neighbourhood
They had one little fight and Will's mom got scared
And told him to move to his aunt and uncle home in Bel Air

Will being a cowardly pussy listen to his mommy and ran away

He whistled for a cab and when it came near
He realized the licence plate said FRESH and since he was easily amused he named himself after the licence plate, he also liked the dice in the mirror
Then he realised its a long trip to Bel Air from Philadelphia and he shouldn't be taking a cab
But he thought nah, I'm going to a wealthy persons place and I can get them to pay for the trip, so he went off to Bel Air

He pulled up to the house after the seven or eight day trip
And yelled at the cabbie about how much they both smelled
Will then looks at his uncles house and calls dibs on it
And then made himself royalty of the land.

Oh wow! A non TV related post!

This is my first (and maybe only) non TV related post! (I'll still be saying TV in it a lot though!) I try and avoid talking about anything besides TV (and have successfully till now!) but today I have somethings to say.

One: Passed the hundred followers mark (3 weeks ago) Yay! So I'm posting about that.

Two: I got interviewed by fellow blogger the Hasidic Plumber! If you wanna see the funny interview he did with me you should be able to find it here: http://hasidicplumber.blogspot.com/  (maybe, I don't know how to link things on blogger so you might not be able to see it correctly!) It's called Nightly Chatter with your Hasidic Plumber.

Three: TV TV TV TV

Four: .... well actually there isn't a fourth thing but since I have your attention I wanna waste your time!

The X-Files

No, it's not what you think. Its a science fiction show about FBI agents, not a sexy porno.

I was all set to review something risque but, now I can't.

The shows about two FBI agents who do not have sex with each other and instead look into strange cases that don't involve sex and they never have sex with anyone...

Yeah I'm not gonna talk about it much, finding out it's not a porno has depressed me...

Hey! Maybe they made a porno spoof of it! I gotta go, bye for now!

The Flintstones

It was a cartoon show for adults and kids.

And it was full of historical inaccuracies!

Cause uneducating the world is an important thing!

The humans lived with dinosaurs and smoking is good for you!

You know, for kids!

Do any of you smoke? If so, how long have you smoked?

Bewitched

Its about a dude (Darrin Stephens) married to a woman (Samantha Stephens) who is a witch.

No not the mean manipulative type of witch, the magical kind!

So the woman is a witch with powers and her husband insists she not use her powers.

What the heck is up with some guys?

Why not have your magical wife use her magical powers? Is it an ego thing? Can't let your wife bring home a big screen TV, a new stove, or a brand new car? Does it make you feel inadequate?

Why do the only guys who get to have magical girls not want to use them to their full potential?

First its the guy in I Dream of Jeannie then its the guy here.

Well the two guys here, the actor playing the husband Darrin (Dick York) leaves the show to be replaced by another guy (Dick Sargent) who continues to play Darrin.

Wait! That's it! There both Dicks! The reason the husband never wants the wife to be powerful is cause he's a dick!

The Brady Bunch

Its a story of a lady who has three daughter and a man who has three sons and the man and lady get together and they all live together with a maid in the same house.

All in the same house.

Wow.

And how many bathrooms do they have?

Well all six kids share one bathroom. One bathroom with no toilet.

No toilet.

So were do these six kids crap?

Out the window?

In some bushes out back?

The woods?

They always talk about visiting a place called Mount Claymore. Is it a pile of poop in the backyard?

And you might be thinking it's weird I'm talking about something as trivial as a toilet but if you ever saw the show you'd realise there's nothing else to talk about.

The show is a pile of poop and there's nowhere to flush it.

Mighty Mouse

Move over Superman move over Batman, there's a new hero in town!

A rodent.

A superhero rodent.

A really strong fast rodent who can fly.

Sounds like a great idea for a show!

Mice the universally loved animal, now a savior to humanity!

Great!

So he's a mouse with superpowers, like superman.

But some questions abound!

How'd he get his powers? Radioactive cheese?

Or is he an alien from a distant planet who abandoned his planet as it was destroyed like a rodent leaving a sinking ship?

I looked everywhere for his origin and found it no where!

So if you know it tell me, if you don't know it make one up in the comment section below!

The Drew Carey Show

Its about a guy named Drew Carey, well actually Drew Allison Carey, a man with three girls names, who lives in Cleveland Ohio and works at a department store as the Assistant Director of Personnel (even though there is no director of personnel he is stuck with the title of assistant) a monotonous job which he hate, he also has three friends, a girl named Kate (that he had a crush on in high school) and two dumb asses named Oswald and Lewis (who work with him in a side business making "Buzz" Beer, a beer that has both coffee and alcohol in it [so you can drink all night and stay awake all day]). Wow that's a long sentence!

Its a great show if you like watching some fat guy get kicked in the ass by the system! He gets dumped on by his boss a mean British man named Mr. Wick, his girlfriend dumps him and all he gets is her disabled dog, his desk at work is across from the ugliest "woman" I can think of and he wins the Batmobile in a contest but loses it when he does his girlfriend in it (breaking the morality clause that comes with the Batmobile). But I guess his life ain't a total lose, I mean how many of us can say we got laid in the Batmobie! (not counting all the boys Batman picked up)

So if you wanna watch a show about the world dumping on the main character look no further than Drew Carey.

I dream of Jeannie

The show starts as an astronaut (Captain Tony Nelson) crash lands on a beach and has to wait to be rescued. As he waits he then finds a Genie in a bottle (named Jeannie!) and he gets her to help him get rescued. She makes a helicopter appear and as it lands Tony tells her she is free and can go.

And this is where it gets weird, the Genie having fallen in love with Captain Nelson (who she calls "Master") decides to follows him home then gets his fiancee to dump him and tells him how much she wants him and that she will do anything for him. Tony's response to this is that she should leave and that he doesn't want her around, but finally he lets her live at his place but makes her sleep in her bottle and tells her to never do magic and never wishes for anything. Opting to focus his life on his career.

Just think on that a moment.

Yup hot girl calling him master and wanting to fulfill his every wish (and literally can with her supernatural powers) and all he does is think about rockets ships and space.

That's a level of stupidity that is beyond all! If I had a sexy Genie at my beck and call I'd be wealthy powerful and commanding the Genie to do all sorts of fun sex acts... but maybe that's just me.

What would you guys do if a sexy genie loved you and wanted to fulfill your every wish?

Rugrats

It's a show about kids from the perspective of kids.

Or is it a show about adults from the perspective of kids?

That's the beauty of the show, you can enjoy it as an adult and a kid.

I loved the show as a kid, the crazy adventures of the kids always revolving around a lack of understanding of adults and what they mean when they say what they say, and I still love it as an adult!

The show revolves around the brave Tommy Pickle the cowardly Chuckie Finster and the grossed out twins Phil and Lil DeVille as they navigate through the conflicts sent to them by the adults and Tommy's evil cousin Angelica.

And that's all I have to say about the show cause I have no snide comments to make on the show.

Oh but I could add a funny theory I heard on the internet years ago!

The rugrats are all in Angelica's mind, Tommy was still born and that's why his dad spends all his time in the basement making kids toys, Chuckie died in the car accident with his mother which is why his dad is always on edge and the Phil and Lil were aborted and since Angelica didn't know what the sex was she imagined one of each gender.

My top 5 favorite theme songs (that have words in them)

Why Top Five? Cause I'm to lazy to do a top ten list!

Number five - Spider Man (60's version)
Great music, great action lyrics, very informitive to spideys actions!

Number four - Cheers
Very moody and sets the depresing tone for a show about a bunch of drunk fuckheads who have nothing better to do then be friends with each other.

Number three - Beverly Hillbillies
Very silly. Just like the show.

Number two (he he I said number two!) - Gilligans Island
Fun song to sing about and stops first time viewers from being confused by the fact the show has people on an island.

Number one - Mystery Science Theater 3000
Fun upbeat and breaks the forth wall to remind you not to take the show to seriously!

And those of you who devoutly follow my blog will notice each post this week made the list! (with the Dukes of Hazzard getting an honourable mention!)

MST3K

Mystery Science Theater 3000

Its a show about a man who gets shot into space by two mad scientists and is forced to watch corny movies with some robots and as they watch the movies they make mocking comments and silly jokes about the movies.

But why do they gotta be so cynical?

So insulting?

So mean?

Why do people feel the need to nit pick movies and mock them?

What kind of a pathetic loser would do that?

Oh wait, me!

I love Mystery Science Theater 3000! Its fun, entertaining, interesting and most importantly humorous!

I recommend it to anyone who's ever enjoyed watching stupid movies and mocking them!
(and if you do decide to watch an episode I recommend episode 421: Monster A Go Go as a good starting episode)

Gilligan's Island

The shows about seven cast aways trapped on an island... kinda like Lost but way more messed up with crashed planes, natives, giant spiders, a world war 2 soldier, a rock band, and a man in an ape suit!

Gilligan's Island is suppose to be a microcosm of the real world.

The Howells are the wealthy of society, ginger represents the celebrities in society, Mary Anne is the youth of the nation, the professor represents the educated of society, the skipper is the working class and Gilligan represents the... um... the crazies/criminals/high school drop outs/disabled/hobos/incompetents of our world.

Which is why the show is named after him, he represents the majority of society. We all live on Gilligan's Island, we just call it earth.

How many Gilligan's do you know?

Cheers.

What is Cheers about?

Its about a bar.

Its about a bunch of drunks.

Its about a bunch of idiots.

And I'm trying to think of something else to say about it but I'm coming up short.

What else can be said?

The bar owner likes to screw lots of broads, the bar tender is as intelligent as a bowel movement, the bar maids mean, and the patrons are liars and drunks.

The jokes are stale, the episodes are all the same and the woman look like ugly 80's trash... so at least its very realistic to most bars!

Cheers is a show best watched drunk!

Cheers is about beers... hey that rhymes!

Spider-Man (the 60's cartoon)

Spider-Man.

The show is about Spider-Man.

I remember watching the show as a kid and I have a few qualms with it.

First they reuse the same footage a lot.

Secondly some of the story's were just plain weird! Dinosaurs, underground city's, conquistadors, ice monsters, giant robots, time travel, magicians, demons, tribesmen and gods!

Thirdly it had long drawn out shots of Spider Man swinging on his web... on and on it went as if it was suppose to be the most amazing thing in the world and they had to show you as much of it as they could so you could get the full enjoyment of life from it! I'm serious! It went on longer then I'm going on about it! Some times five or six minutes would be taken up with these shots of spider man swinging through the air. Through the city, the forest, a desert! He'd swing through anything! He didn't even need his webs to attach to things! Swing past a plane! Swing above buildings! He could have swung to the moon if he'd wanted to!

Fourthly they reuse the same footage a lot. (kind of a lame joke but what can I say, its kind of a lame show.)

Fifthly (what the hell) Its kind of a lame show! I mean sure spidey's cool and all but what makes spidey cool is his failing personal life, his troubles that never go away and the fact that so much happens at once. The TV show has none of that!

And that's that. Oh and to beat a dead horse, I also hate how they reuse the same footage a lot!

The Beverly Hillbillies

Beverly Hillbillies

Its a show about a hillbilly, and no its not a precursor to the Dukes of Hazzard or Beverly Hills 90210, who finds oil in the ground of his hillbilly swampland and becomes a millionaire.

He then moves his family to the city and they clash with all the fancy snobs in California and end up doing stupid hick things with all there money! And how far does the stupidity go? Beyond them just doing stupid stuff with there cash and being confuse about modern appliances such as TVs and electric razors! The stupidity of the show is woven into the fabric of the show its self.

Just take the cast for instance.

There's Jed Clampett as the father and millionaire hillbilly, his mother an old crazy lady named Daisy May Moses, his young tomboy daughter Elle May Clampett, his nephew a young man named Jethro and his niece (and twin sister to Jethro) named Jethrine, who is played by the same actor as Jethro.

I'll let that sink in a moment.

Yup. Jethrine is a female character played by a man in drag. The same man who plays a different character in the show!

No, its not some fake thing in the show like Jethro pretends to have a sister to impress a woman or he dresses like a girl to satisfy his homo sexual tendencies.

It flat out is a different character. A fucking ugly similarly looking but completely different character.

Here's a picture.

And that's it for now, you all come back now ya hear!
　

Hazzardous!

What do you get when you take two ex moonshine runners, a sexy cousin, fast cars, a fat crook, a corrupt cop and an old hillbilly and stick them all in the same show? No, not one hell of an orgy! You get The Dukes of Hazzard!

The show all about that crap! But why would anyone care about a show about two dumb hicks who drive around in a car? I'll tell you why!

That's why! A sexy girl! Yup that's it.

And that's all there is to say about the show.